FedSpace Laws

Fedspace Laws [‘fedˈspās lawz] noun
A facetious set of laws that govern the online role-play game, Federation Space.

1- When you’re feeling creative and itching to post, your shipmates are busy.
2- When you’re feeling unmotivated to post, your shipmates are posting up a storm.
3 – Your shipmates want to have group chats when you’re busy.
4- When you’re wanting to chat, nobody’s around.
5 – If you think the GM is wrong, think again.
6 – “At least it can’t get any worse”. It just got worse.
7 – If you still think the GM is wrong, see #5 and #6.
8 – There’s never an airlock handy when you need one.
9 – Whenever all else fails… whatever you decide to do will also likely fail.
10 – Power only fails when you need it most.
11 – When your CO says it’s going to be an easy mission, prepare for hell.
12 – Patrol missions are never just patrol missions.
13 – GM-13
14 – When in doubt: treknobabble.
15 – When you think you’ve defeated your enemies… wait a few years. The creative team will find a way to bring them back.
16 – Enjoy your starship while you can. There’s 26 letters in the alphabet for a reason.
17 – No matter how many suggestions your COS offers, the CO will always choose the most dangerous one.
18 – The amount of blood splatter caused by a GM is inversely proportionate to how recently the ship was refit.
19 – Oh who are we kidding with #18… there will always be lots of splatter.
20 – The number of systems failures inversely relate to the age of the ship.
21 – A falling object will always land on your head.
22 – You are not Superman; Security and Tactical officers take note.
23 – Comms will go offline as soon as you need to send a distress call.
24 – If they have enough grease and a big enough hyperspanner, an engineer can put anything together.
25 – A contaminant will never be isolated.

Have you discovered any FedSpace Laws? Share them with us!

3 Responses to FedSpace Laws

  1. Cellest Rubi says:

    26 – Prevention? Futile …

  2. Lt. Pheral Ohmsford says:

    27. There’s no such thing as a controlled experiment.

  3. Mid Anthony Moriarty says:

    28. There’s no such thing as “safety in numbers”, you’ve just rounded up the pigs for slaughter.

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