== Holodeck 03 ==
HD03 - Security Cadet Simonova
Posted Star Date 22101.14 @ 14:10 (02:10 PM)
== Welcome to your holodeck Cadet Simonova,
Read the following information carefully, because it has a fair amount of important information for you. If you have any questions or difficulties at any time, please contact one of the following people for assistance. We’d be glad to help you out.
Captain Esperenson: email@example.com
Commander Jasal: firstname.lastname@example.org
Commander Allen: email@example.com
Remember during your time at the Academy that people have responsibilities such as school, jobs, and family, as well as maintaining our site. There are times when we may have to wait longer than we’d like for a reply to a post or a question. Patience and treating each other with respect and dignity are two things that are absolutely required of all members.
On the flip side, the Constitution states that players need to post at least twice a week. If you find you are unable to keep up due to something coming up in real life responsibilities or you’re just going to be on holiday, please let one of the Admins know. You can be granted a leave of absence for the length of time you think you’ll be away. If you don’t let us know and you suddenly disappear, this could end up with you being considered AWOL and eventually removed from the active cadet roster.
Now… with all of that said, let’s get to your character’s bio!
Please begin by posting your bio using the template below. Once posted, your bio will be reviewed by an Evaluations representative. They will post comments for you and suggest any adjustments your bio might require. Once they approve your bio, you will be assigned an instructor and your adventure will begin!
Federation Space is a written RPG. With that said, we ask that you try to pay attention to spelling and grammar in your posts. Posts properly formatted are easier and more enjoyable for everyone to read. I strongly recommend you run your bio and any posts you make through a spell check before posting them.
Next are a few resources that can help you as you write your bio:
Be sure to check out playable races here: https://wiki.fed-spa...ory:PRC_Rated.
Our character development page is a great resource to help you fill out your bio form: https://wiki.fed-spa...r_Development.
Along with character development is information about the Star Fleet Academy Curriculum, including Majors and Minors: https://wiki.fed-spa...jors_and_Minors.
One last thing, please take time to read and understand our site’s canon page. This will help you understand what 'Trek' related information is included on our site. https://wiki.fed-spa...itle=Site_Canon.
Again, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! And as always - have fun!
== Physical Description ==
Off-Duty Clothing Taste:
== Personal History ==
Date of Birth:
Place of Birth:
Siblings Name & Ages:
== Personality ==
Hobbies & Past-Times:
Sense of Humor:
Bad Habits / Vices:
== Questions ==
Most Painful Experience:
Most Crucial Experience:
Referrer / How you found Fed Space (If 'Google' or 'Search Engine' please specify the search engine and the term searched for):
Posted Star Date 22101.14 @ 15:54 (03:54 PM)
Posted Star Date 22101.16 @ 04:56 (04:56 AM)
==Good evening, Cadet, and welcome to Federation Space! I am Lieutenant Varani Shanth, and I'm here to help you with your bio!
First things first: We can't have your dad listed as a Section 31 operative. They're a shadowy organization, and their operatives do not work out in the open despite what is shown in Discovery. The organization on FedSpace is much closer to that shown in Deep Space 9 - clandestine to the point of being almost fictional, and unacknowledged by any higher power in any official capacity. Your father can work for Star Fleet Intelligence if you wish, but not Section 31.
Alright, with that out of the way, let's look at your Personal History. While I like the things you have - divorced parents due to one of their jobs, moving to Seattle, getting injured mountain climbing and mental issues due to anger at the accident - it's way too thin. We need more detail on you as a person. How did Natalya feel about her dad's absence, and then the divorce? You mention that you missed being admitted due to the accident, but nothing about when you actually did get in, and how you felt about your training in the Academy. You have a best friend in your bio, but no mention of them in your history - were they from your childhood, from high school? Are they a fellow cadet? By the time you're here in a holodeck, this is your final exam from the Academy. We should have a little more information about who you are and how you react to things.
Other than those two things, I didn't have any complaints. The biggest thing is your history. As you revise and add to it, you may want to change some of the other stuff in your bio; feel free to do so if you wish. If you have questions, feel free to message me - you can either use the envelope up at the top right corner of the page, or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Good luck, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with!==
Posted Star Date 22101.21 @ 15:47 (03:47 PM)
Posted Star Date 22101.22 @ 22:38 (10:38 PM)
==Not a problem at all! We understand that Real Life is a thing that everyone has to deal with.
As for your updates, they look good! Definitely much more fleshed out than the previous one was, though still a little sparse. I like the addition of her rejecting her father; could make for some fun drama later if he were to show up or reach out in a subplot later for you.
As it stands, I like it; it's definitely enough to get you going, and gives a better sense of who you are than the previous version did. You may find that there are things you didn't think about while making this that you want to add; don't feel bad about that - bios are living documents, and can be updated later if needed. I'm going to go ahead and mark you as approved and get you set up with an instructor. If you have any more questions, or decide you want to add something before you graduate, reach out to me and we'll see what we can do to get you taken care of! Good luck, Cadet!==
Posted Star Date 22101.23 @ 09:22 (09:22 AM)
Posted Star Date 22101.23 @ 16:23 (04:23 PM)
Posted Star Date 22101.23 @ 17:55 (05:55 PM)
== A great first post & after speaking to Commander Allen, yes that should be okay for you to include aspects of Natalya's accent. Another I thing I noticed was you putting my post at the top of yours. This isn't something that we tend to do as we usually incorporate the odd sentence or some of what another character has said in our posts. However I think I understand your reasons for doing so, for the purpose of this thread ==
Posted Star Date 22101.25 @ 14:52 (02:52 PM)
Taking a few seconds to study her surroundings, Natalya soon recognised the search and rescue scenario that had loaded around her, she had seen it once before in a class on her group had not faired well on that occasion.
She took a deep breath and reached for her tricorder and flipping it open with a flick of her wrist. She ran her hand over it quickly and set it to scan for lifesigns.
==GM Input: Tricorder readings please==
As she scanned she continued to walk along the corridor, her plan was to head for the bridge unless other lifesigns appeared elsewhere.
She walked slowly listening carefully for any sounds as her eyes scanned the corridor in front of her, She also noted that the air tasted stale as if it had not been disturbed for some time. "Simonova to Lt Anderson, any luck with engineering yet"? she asked after tapping her comm badge.
Posted Star Date 22101.25 @ 15:49 (03:49 PM)
== I like how you responded to the scenario and good use of GM input. However a useful tip for when you're on a ship and that's to put the GM input request at the end of your post. With that said, let's continue :-) ==