Pretense
Hello all!
All of us on the site go through the Academy at least once during our time on the site. During that time we learn the fundamentals of the functions and style of Federation Space. However learning new tricks doesn’t have to end after the Academy! Here our Academy staff will be writing news articles to help enhance site: grammar, writing styles, tips and tricks, as well as a few other things to help us all on the site!
For this edition we will be focussing on a Technical topic in writing posts!
Introductions!
A very, very, very common thing we all do is start our posts on a low note. Players who have been on for years may still do this as well as new players. To be truthfully, I still do it. To conclude what you may be wondering, players a good deal of the time start their post with:
‘Jason did this. Jason did that’
‘Mary jumped.
‘Duncan sat.’
Etcetera!
While in some cases this may be perfectly fine, there are a few simple ways to give your introduction a bigger bang! There are far too many ways to list so I will only name a few.
“Alaska region of Earth.”
Simply stating the location of where your character may be at, or thinking about that place is always a good way to start. Not only does it avoid the topic of your character explicitly, but it also adds an intial thought to the reader.
“Dragons were supposed to be a thing of myth.”
While this alone may be out of place without the rest of the context, it is a great start. It begins by stating a reaction to a situation, however this also relates to the character’s knowledge of Human mythology to compare it to their situation.
“Saturn was a majestic globe of yellows, ochres and browns, and its rings were like pearls hanging in space. It truly was a wonderful sight…”
This is also a reaction by the character in orbit of Saturn. However this is a reaction with a pure emotional response instead of knowledge. It also adds the character’s initial thoughts of their situation, as well as thoughts for the reader.
“It was 1240 hours and Wren was on her way to her next task.”
While this still contains the name it is a perfectly great start. It explains the situation as well as explains the character’s actions. In addition, the introduction sentence evolves into the rest of the paragraph still relating to the introduction sentence.
“Anthony was pacing. Apart from pausing to eat, he had been pacing in the same spot for almost the entire day since he got up.”
And yes, in some cases it is fine to start with the name! However it must be precisely used. In this case pacing is an important action to explain, as noted by how short the sentence is. Again, pacing evolves throughout the paragraph as shown in the next sentence. This is a correct way to use your character’s name efficiently.
However, it should not be used repeatedly as we already do such in the rest of our posts.
It is always good to spice up your posts! Especially the beginning. As the Earth saying goes: “First Impressions”. And it might even help with that RPGer!
Thank you for reading,
Lieutenant Junior Grade Yeager Atranth
Academy Instructor
Works Cited:
Praise, Zephyr, and Crystillin, Acenvar. “An Unexpected Expedition .” Federation Space, fed-space.com/ipb/index.php?/topic/2981-an-unexpected-expedition/.
Moriarty, Anthony. “Mind Over Matter .” Federation Space, fed-space.com/ipb/index.php?/topic/2985-mind-over-matter/.
Braggins, Jennifer. “Star Fleet Academy Flight Range-Saturn, Flight of the Valkyrie.”Federation Space, fed-space.com/ipb/index.php?/topic/3013-star-fleet-academy-flight-range-saturn/#entry120840.
Gaglardi, Wren. “Discipline of Duty.” Federation Space, fed-space.com/ipb/index.php?/topic/3115-discipline-of-duty/.