04-11-2026, 09:39 PM
For a moment, Alex took the time to soak in the situation. Was he rushing things? There was no denying what he had felt in that kiss. Unlike some of his youth, there was no worry of regret on his mind. The part of him that loved his wife would always love her, but she was gone and had been for years now. He felt no guilt at having feelings for Beno. There was no betrayal here and he was free to have those feelings for Beno. Alex thought to himself that it might be wise for him to take care to be sure he was not rushing her, so he would wait to be certain of her of desires and timing on how they moved forward, but that would reveal itself to him if and when Beno felt ready.
What lingered in his mind and was perhaps the only thing that was tugging at him was that he had said he should show it to her sometime. Should he? It was very likely that she only thought he meant where he grew up on Betazed, or perhaps where they had lived on Earth. Nobody had bothered to ask where he had been between the time he left the Titania and the time he arrived on the Agila. He had not needed to discuss where he had called home during that time and maybe that was a good thing for now. He wasn't sure how truthful he should be about that.
That was about home, but what about the other place? The place that technically wasn't anywhere at all. Did he dare to discuss the Simulation? That was perhaps as dangerous or more so than where he had been calling home. His friend Val had understood, but he was gone now. Alex would never forget how Val had come out of the Sim that one night. He understood completely. It was Val that had convinced Alex that he shouldn't show it to people. Val had spent 40 years in there that night and it had changed his entire perspective on life. He had married, had a daughter and she was preparing to enter the Academy. When he had come out, he had a hard time putting into words how hard it was for him to return to his "real" life again. Alex had agreed that he should have pulled him out much sooner, but it had only been a few minutes in real time. He decided to put certain checks and balances in after that, but the question remained, should he ever show it to someone again or not...he was still undecided.
These thoughts passed through his mind in the course of a few seconds, while he quietly took a sip of his drink. Alex finally decided that he didn't have to decide such things right this moment. He might never find a need to cross such a bridge and fretting over it right now served on purpose. He was NOT going to ruin this wonderful night worrying about something that might never happen. Glaning to Beno, he couldn't help himself from smiling. She was beautiful. He could hear the voice of his sister in his head telling him to not be a fool. She always scolded him for thinking too much and not living life enough...and she had usually been right.
What lingered in his mind and was perhaps the only thing that was tugging at him was that he had said he should show it to her sometime. Should he? It was very likely that she only thought he meant where he grew up on Betazed, or perhaps where they had lived on Earth. Nobody had bothered to ask where he had been between the time he left the Titania and the time he arrived on the Agila. He had not needed to discuss where he had called home during that time and maybe that was a good thing for now. He wasn't sure how truthful he should be about that.
That was about home, but what about the other place? The place that technically wasn't anywhere at all. Did he dare to discuss the Simulation? That was perhaps as dangerous or more so than where he had been calling home. His friend Val had understood, but he was gone now. Alex would never forget how Val had come out of the Sim that one night. He understood completely. It was Val that had convinced Alex that he shouldn't show it to people. Val had spent 40 years in there that night and it had changed his entire perspective on life. He had married, had a daughter and she was preparing to enter the Academy. When he had come out, he had a hard time putting into words how hard it was for him to return to his "real" life again. Alex had agreed that he should have pulled him out much sooner, but it had only been a few minutes in real time. He decided to put certain checks and balances in after that, but the question remained, should he ever show it to someone again or not...he was still undecided.
These thoughts passed through his mind in the course of a few seconds, while he quietly took a sip of his drink. Alex finally decided that he didn't have to decide such things right this moment. He might never find a need to cross such a bridge and fretting over it right now served on purpose. He was NOT going to ruin this wonderful night worrying about something that might never happen. Glaning to Beno, he couldn't help himself from smiling. She was beautiful. He could hear the voice of his sister in his head telling him to not be a fool. She always scolded him for thinking too much and not living life enough...and she had usually been right.