04-26-2026, 10:41 PM
"I do mean well, and I understand why you need some time to yourself," Aeryn began softly. "And I promise I won't take you anywhere near the horses, to be honest, that was just an idea that popped into my head when Robin mentioned it. I've only ridden once, and I got thrown off, so I've never tried to repeat it. Give me a phaser range any day or a good hike."
“You might wanna make that promise to the horses,” Mara replied with a deadpan expression, before cracking a smile.
The Bandaran didn’t say anything else until they got to the pub, and she let herself be shown to a room with a shower and a replicator to clean up.
When the door was closed behind her host, Calleja locked it and then sat down heavily on the bed. Now that she was alone and safe from prying eyes, she felt a knot of emotion bubble up from deep within. Frustration, embarrassment, anger, humiliation, disappointment… Every single one took their chance to ride roughshod across her soul and her broad shoulders shook as her head sank into her hands. Bitter, strangled sobs escaped from her lips as she suddenly burst into action, yanking the towel off around her torso and hurling it across the room. She tore the shirt off her back and ripped it into tiny pieces, biting down the emotion with a snarl on her lips before throwing the bits to the floor and going into the bathroom.
With the water set so hot it was practically scalding, Mara stripped off and climbed under the jets. She leant against the wall of the cubicle and did her best to let go of the emotions before they overwhelmed her. Tears ran down her face, mixing with the water and disappearing.
I hate this. I fuckin’ hate it. I’ve been so closed off and repressed my whole damn life that when I actually have to deal with feelin’s… I just can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t have the frame of fuckin’ reference that lets me handle this like a grown adult!
Another surge of frustration ripped through the Amazonian officer and she lashed out, her fist crunching through a pair of ceramic tiles. The physical outburst and the sudden lance of pain from her hand shocked her out of the mood she’d fallen into, and she drew in a deep breath as she straightened up. Ceramic shrapnel dropped into the shower tray as she pulled her hand back. There was no blood and she flexed, making sure she hadn’t done herself any damage.
Just wounded pride.
Mara let the breath out slowly. She cleaned herself up and turned off the water, stepping out gingerly and fumbling for a towel. She dried herself off as she looked at herself in the mirror. The heavy muscle tone wasn’t for everyone, and she wasn’t someone who got checked out very often. But she genuinely didn’t care one iota. She was proud of how she looked and how strong she was.
No, the hang-up came from growing up in Bandar City, where as a girl surrounded by wannabe alpha males, Mara had had to be on the defensive the whole time. Showing skin would only encourage unwanted attention and she absolutely pathologically hadn’t wanted that kind of attention. Even now, safe in the Federation, that mindset was tough to let go of. She actually envied the likes of Sydesh and Miller who could be secure enough to flaunt it. But she couldn’t overcome her own mental blocks, and she felt a visceral kind of shame at the very idea of wandering around in a swimsuit herself.
One step at a time. Maybe when I can figure out how to behave around people, we can approach the whole skin issue.
Calleja dried herself down and shoved the wet clothes into the replicator, dressing in a long-sleeved top (sports bra firmly in place this time) and long shorts that were inevitably loose-fitting and black, along with her usual boots.
Dragging a brush through her hair, dragging it over to the left to emphasise the side-shave, Mara figured she was ready. With a deep breath, she unlocked the door and headed down to the bar.
“You good?” a figure behind the bar asked.
“I am, thanks. Although I owe you for a couple broken tiles in the shower. Send me the bill once it’s fixed,” the Security Chief said with a sheepish expression.
She looked around for Aeryn, and when she saw her friend she headed over.
“Hey. If you want to go back to the party, we can do,” she said quietly. “I think I’ve gotten me back under control. Sucks havin’ the emotional control of a 13-year-old whilst pushin’ 30 but here we are. You want shitty jobs, imagine bein’ the counsellor that’s gotta help me out with that.”
A grin ghosted across her lips at the wisecrack.
== Tag Aeryn! ==
“You might wanna make that promise to the horses,” Mara replied with a deadpan expression, before cracking a smile.
The Bandaran didn’t say anything else until they got to the pub, and she let herself be shown to a room with a shower and a replicator to clean up.
When the door was closed behind her host, Calleja locked it and then sat down heavily on the bed. Now that she was alone and safe from prying eyes, she felt a knot of emotion bubble up from deep within. Frustration, embarrassment, anger, humiliation, disappointment… Every single one took their chance to ride roughshod across her soul and her broad shoulders shook as her head sank into her hands. Bitter, strangled sobs escaped from her lips as she suddenly burst into action, yanking the towel off around her torso and hurling it across the room. She tore the shirt off her back and ripped it into tiny pieces, biting down the emotion with a snarl on her lips before throwing the bits to the floor and going into the bathroom.
With the water set so hot it was practically scalding, Mara stripped off and climbed under the jets. She leant against the wall of the cubicle and did her best to let go of the emotions before they overwhelmed her. Tears ran down her face, mixing with the water and disappearing.
I hate this. I fuckin’ hate it. I’ve been so closed off and repressed my whole damn life that when I actually have to deal with feelin’s… I just can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t have the frame of fuckin’ reference that lets me handle this like a grown adult!
Another surge of frustration ripped through the Amazonian officer and she lashed out, her fist crunching through a pair of ceramic tiles. The physical outburst and the sudden lance of pain from her hand shocked her out of the mood she’d fallen into, and she drew in a deep breath as she straightened up. Ceramic shrapnel dropped into the shower tray as she pulled her hand back. There was no blood and she flexed, making sure she hadn’t done herself any damage.
Just wounded pride.
Mara let the breath out slowly. She cleaned herself up and turned off the water, stepping out gingerly and fumbling for a towel. She dried herself off as she looked at herself in the mirror. The heavy muscle tone wasn’t for everyone, and she wasn’t someone who got checked out very often. But she genuinely didn’t care one iota. She was proud of how she looked and how strong she was.
No, the hang-up came from growing up in Bandar City, where as a girl surrounded by wannabe alpha males, Mara had had to be on the defensive the whole time. Showing skin would only encourage unwanted attention and she absolutely pathologically hadn’t wanted that kind of attention. Even now, safe in the Federation, that mindset was tough to let go of. She actually envied the likes of Sydesh and Miller who could be secure enough to flaunt it. But she couldn’t overcome her own mental blocks, and she felt a visceral kind of shame at the very idea of wandering around in a swimsuit herself.
One step at a time. Maybe when I can figure out how to behave around people, we can approach the whole skin issue.
Calleja dried herself down and shoved the wet clothes into the replicator, dressing in a long-sleeved top (sports bra firmly in place this time) and long shorts that were inevitably loose-fitting and black, along with her usual boots.
Dragging a brush through her hair, dragging it over to the left to emphasise the side-shave, Mara figured she was ready. With a deep breath, she unlocked the door and headed down to the bar.
“You good?” a figure behind the bar asked.
“I am, thanks. Although I owe you for a couple broken tiles in the shower. Send me the bill once it’s fixed,” the Security Chief said with a sheepish expression.
She looked around for Aeryn, and when she saw her friend she headed over.
“Hey. If you want to go back to the party, we can do,” she said quietly. “I think I’ve gotten me back under control. Sucks havin’ the emotional control of a 13-year-old whilst pushin’ 30 but here we are. You want shitty jobs, imagine bein’ the counsellor that’s gotta help me out with that.”
A grin ghosted across her lips at the wisecrack.
== Tag Aeryn! ==