10-19-2026, 12:39 AM
Sebastian returned Amila’s warm smile, though there was a hint of lingering tiredness in his expression. He shifted slightly in his seat, his hands coming together in front of him as he considered how to answer her question honestly without drawing too much attention to himself.
“Good afternoon, Lieutenant. Thank you. I appreciate you checking in with us.”
He glanced briefly at A’kilees before looking back at Amila.
“I think we’re doing all right. It was certainly a learning experience. There’s a difference between studying emergencies at the Academy and actually being there when things go wrong. You can understand the theory perfectly well, but applying it when the ship and its crew are depending on you is something else entirely.”
His smile faded slightly as the conversation turned toward the more personal side of the mission. He lowered his eyes for a moment, rubbing his thumb nervously against the side of his hand.
“The spacewalk was… difficult for me.”
He hesitated, visibly uncomfortable admitting it.
“I had a bout of claustrophobia. I know that probably sounds rather ridiculous, considering I was outside the ship, but being enclosed in the suit, with that limited field of view, made me feel trapped. I knew intellectually that I was safe as long as I followed procedure, but that didn't seem to matter much to my instincts at the time.”
Sebastian swallowed, his cheeks warming with embarrassment.
“Lieutenant Gath helped by arranging a clear helmet that gave me a much better view of my surroundings. That made a difference. A’kilees reminded me to breathe mindfully, which helped me get my thoughts under control, and Doctor O’Fee suggested focusing on the horizon instead of fixating on the suit around me.”
He glanced at A’kilees again, offering him a grateful but somewhat sheepish smile.
“I’m thankful they helped me through it. I really am. I just wish I hadn't needed quite so much help in the first place.”
The admission came quietly. Sebastian looked down at his hands, struggling to keep the embarrassment from showing too plainly.
“I’m a Starfleet officer. Well, a midshipman, technically, but you know what I mean. We're supposed to be able to function under pressure. And there I was, struggling with something as basic as keeping myself calm during a spacewalk.” He exhaled slowly. “I know that's probably an unfair way of looking at it, but it's difficult not to feel as though I should have handled it better.”
He paused, then continued in a more measured tone.
“Doctor O’Fee spoke with me after the mission and gave me some mental exercises to practice. I'm working on those. I don't want this to become something that interferes with my duties, and I certainly don't want anyone having to worry about whether I'll be able to do my part when things get difficult.”
There was no self-pity in his voice, only an earnest desire to prove himself. He was grateful for the support he'd received, but accepting that support was proving almost as difficult as the experience itself.
“Still, I suppose the important thing is that I completed the assignment. The people who helped me didn't make me feel incapable, even if I managed to do that to myself well enough.”
He gave a small, embarrassed laugh and finally looked up at Amila again.
“And I'm sorry if that sounds a little more personal than you were expecting when you asked how we were feeling.”
His expression softened into a more genuine smile.
“I am all right, Lieutenant. A little humbled, perhaps. But I'm learning, and I intend to keep working at it.”
He glanced toward A’kilees, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly.
“And fortunately, I have a friend who seems determined not to let me forget that remembering to breathe is sometimes a worthwhile skill.”
The lighthearted remark eased some of the tension in his shoulders, though the embarrassment hadn't entirely left his face.
“What about you, Lieutenant? How do you usually unwind after a mission like that? I'm beginning to think that learning how to recover afterward might be almost as important as learning how to handle the crisis itself.”
== Tag Ra'an and all. ==
“Good afternoon, Lieutenant. Thank you. I appreciate you checking in with us.”
He glanced briefly at A’kilees before looking back at Amila.
“I think we’re doing all right. It was certainly a learning experience. There’s a difference between studying emergencies at the Academy and actually being there when things go wrong. You can understand the theory perfectly well, but applying it when the ship and its crew are depending on you is something else entirely.”
His smile faded slightly as the conversation turned toward the more personal side of the mission. He lowered his eyes for a moment, rubbing his thumb nervously against the side of his hand.
“The spacewalk was… difficult for me.”
He hesitated, visibly uncomfortable admitting it.
“I had a bout of claustrophobia. I know that probably sounds rather ridiculous, considering I was outside the ship, but being enclosed in the suit, with that limited field of view, made me feel trapped. I knew intellectually that I was safe as long as I followed procedure, but that didn't seem to matter much to my instincts at the time.”
Sebastian swallowed, his cheeks warming with embarrassment.
“Lieutenant Gath helped by arranging a clear helmet that gave me a much better view of my surroundings. That made a difference. A’kilees reminded me to breathe mindfully, which helped me get my thoughts under control, and Doctor O’Fee suggested focusing on the horizon instead of fixating on the suit around me.”
He glanced at A’kilees again, offering him a grateful but somewhat sheepish smile.
“I’m thankful they helped me through it. I really am. I just wish I hadn't needed quite so much help in the first place.”
The admission came quietly. Sebastian looked down at his hands, struggling to keep the embarrassment from showing too plainly.
“I’m a Starfleet officer. Well, a midshipman, technically, but you know what I mean. We're supposed to be able to function under pressure. And there I was, struggling with something as basic as keeping myself calm during a spacewalk.” He exhaled slowly. “I know that's probably an unfair way of looking at it, but it's difficult not to feel as though I should have handled it better.”
He paused, then continued in a more measured tone.
“Doctor O’Fee spoke with me after the mission and gave me some mental exercises to practice. I'm working on those. I don't want this to become something that interferes with my duties, and I certainly don't want anyone having to worry about whether I'll be able to do my part when things get difficult.”
There was no self-pity in his voice, only an earnest desire to prove himself. He was grateful for the support he'd received, but accepting that support was proving almost as difficult as the experience itself.
“Still, I suppose the important thing is that I completed the assignment. The people who helped me didn't make me feel incapable, even if I managed to do that to myself well enough.”
He gave a small, embarrassed laugh and finally looked up at Amila again.
“And I'm sorry if that sounds a little more personal than you were expecting when you asked how we were feeling.”
His expression softened into a more genuine smile.
“I am all right, Lieutenant. A little humbled, perhaps. But I'm learning, and I intend to keep working at it.”
He glanced toward A’kilees, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly.
“And fortunately, I have a friend who seems determined not to let me forget that remembering to breathe is sometimes a worthwhile skill.”
The lighthearted remark eased some of the tension in his shoulders, though the embarrassment hadn't entirely left his face.
“What about you, Lieutenant? How do you usually unwind after a mission like that? I'm beginning to think that learning how to recover afterward might be almost as important as learning how to handle the crisis itself.”
== Tag Ra'an and all. ==