12-15-2023, 03:11 PM
== Incoming fiasco! ==
A huge banner made to look like a festive scarlet ribbon hung above the wide doors to the ship’s biggest cargo bay, with Merry Artemismas! written large in white cursive text.
Inside, the room had been split into 7 different zones with big signs overhead. A particularly warped sense of humour had clearly been let loose when it came to making this party happen, as a lot of them carried a twist on human holiday traditions.
Central Zone - The Still
Set up in the centre of the bay was a steampunk masterpiece in the form of a giant moonshine still, all pipes, valves and gauges that hissed and occasionally vented alcoholic fumes. Spreading out from the still was a network of bars of varying sizes and heights, complete with bar stools and a copious supply of clear plastic cups.
Each bar had a row of taps hanging over it that spiralled out from the main still. There were options for ‘pure shine’ that was strong enough to make the Medical department very nervous, as well as a non-alcoholic variety that somehow still managed to make the drinker feel like they were being punched in the throat, and various mixers, spirits and beers depending on which bar you were stood at.
SW Corner - The Mistle-Zone
A hologram tree had been set up in the centre of the corner zone, its branches laden with bunches of mistletoe conveniently just above head height. Carved into the tree trunk was a scene of a sinking paddle steamer bearing the nameplate ‘Loveboat’, and set up around the tree were tables stacked with PADDs containing advice on safe sex, headsets loaded with break-up songs, and the comm frequency for the ship’s counsellor.
Port Wall - The Obscene Snowman Zone
The long wall had ankle-deep fake snow, bins of scarves and hats, twigs, carrots and coal, and a competition for the best obscene snowman. The sample entries made by the staff setting up had been a giant hand with an extended middle finger that wore a hat and scarf, and a figure making a very suggestive gesture with a strategically placed twig that everyone swore looked faintly like a past COS from the Gettysburg’s glorious history.
NW Corner - The Rocket Sled Zone
Flying high above the partygoers’ heads were holographic sleds towed by skeletal reindeer. Set up in the north-western corner were a series of authentic looking and sounding shoulder-mounted rocket launchers that could be used to fire on those sleds, and a leaderboard from floor to ceiling showing who was the most proficient at shooting down Santa.
Every now and then, a hit would bring one of the nightmarish constructions hurtling down through the deck plate in a blaze of light.
NE Corner - The Insecure Male Zone
Here were ‘test your strength’ machines, weight-lifting stations, gun ranges with enormous scoreboards overhead, axe and knife throwing, arm-wrestling tables and pretty much any other way that crew members could physically and publicly compete with each other. Support and Security staff kept an eye on things to make sure nobody got too competitive, with a healthy dose of cynicism and mockery for all.
Starboard Wall - The Idol Zone
This wall had pods set up down its length, where crew members could indulge in some karaoke or belt out their own songs. There was a selection of different instruments and mics in each pod, and clever use of sound-deadening fields meant that only those standing directly in front of each pod could hear the music from it.
SE Corner - The Safe Zone
The final zone looked a lot like a corner of the Southern bar near the Crawford ranch. It held traditional pub and bar games like pool and darts, with a few board games as well. Frequent signage warned against excessive drinking and swearing - this was the designated safe space for those who didn’t want to risk what was going on elsewhere, or had just had enough and needed a break.
A huge banner made to look like a festive scarlet ribbon hung above the wide doors to the ship’s biggest cargo bay, with Merry Artemismas! written large in white cursive text.
Inside, the room had been split into 7 different zones with big signs overhead. A particularly warped sense of humour had clearly been let loose when it came to making this party happen, as a lot of them carried a twist on human holiday traditions.
Central Zone - The Still
Set up in the centre of the bay was a steampunk masterpiece in the form of a giant moonshine still, all pipes, valves and gauges that hissed and occasionally vented alcoholic fumes. Spreading out from the still was a network of bars of varying sizes and heights, complete with bar stools and a copious supply of clear plastic cups.
Each bar had a row of taps hanging over it that spiralled out from the main still. There were options for ‘pure shine’ that was strong enough to make the Medical department very nervous, as well as a non-alcoholic variety that somehow still managed to make the drinker feel like they were being punched in the throat, and various mixers, spirits and beers depending on which bar you were stood at.
SW Corner - The Mistle-Zone
A hologram tree had been set up in the centre of the corner zone, its branches laden with bunches of mistletoe conveniently just above head height. Carved into the tree trunk was a scene of a sinking paddle steamer bearing the nameplate ‘Loveboat’, and set up around the tree were tables stacked with PADDs containing advice on safe sex, headsets loaded with break-up songs, and the comm frequency for the ship’s counsellor.
Port Wall - The Obscene Snowman Zone
The long wall had ankle-deep fake snow, bins of scarves and hats, twigs, carrots and coal, and a competition for the best obscene snowman. The sample entries made by the staff setting up had been a giant hand with an extended middle finger that wore a hat and scarf, and a figure making a very suggestive gesture with a strategically placed twig that everyone swore looked faintly like a past COS from the Gettysburg’s glorious history.
NW Corner - The Rocket Sled Zone
Flying high above the partygoers’ heads were holographic sleds towed by skeletal reindeer. Set up in the north-western corner were a series of authentic looking and sounding shoulder-mounted rocket launchers that could be used to fire on those sleds, and a leaderboard from floor to ceiling showing who was the most proficient at shooting down Santa.
Every now and then, a hit would bring one of the nightmarish constructions hurtling down through the deck plate in a blaze of light.
NE Corner - The Insecure Male Zone
Here were ‘test your strength’ machines, weight-lifting stations, gun ranges with enormous scoreboards overhead, axe and knife throwing, arm-wrestling tables and pretty much any other way that crew members could physically and publicly compete with each other. Support and Security staff kept an eye on things to make sure nobody got too competitive, with a healthy dose of cynicism and mockery for all.
Starboard Wall - The Idol Zone
This wall had pods set up down its length, where crew members could indulge in some karaoke or belt out their own songs. There was a selection of different instruments and mics in each pod, and clever use of sound-deadening fields meant that only those standing directly in front of each pod could hear the music from it.
SE Corner - The Safe Zone
The final zone looked a lot like a corner of the Southern bar near the Crawford ranch. It held traditional pub and bar games like pool and darts, with a few board games as well. Frequent signage warned against excessive drinking and swearing - this was the designated safe space for those who didn’t want to risk what was going on elsewhere, or had just had enough and needed a break.