06-08-2024, 10:55 AM
Aeryn knew the instant that she stopped speaking that she should have said more, but the reality of what she had just done still hadn't fully sunk in. If she was completely honest, she had just wanted to do something fun and spend time with her girlfriend without the added pressure of her career change. However, the redhead soon realised it wasn't that simple, not when Beka reacted like she did, cutting through Aeryn's heart like a knife.
Just when she thought that she had it all figured out, and felt better because of it, everything now came running at her full force, especially the guilt she had experienced whilst weighing up her decision. She knew deep down that she was doing the right thing for her sanity, and for everyone's safety, but at the same time she didn't need that reminder. Maybe she deserved it, and if she could turn back time would that have made her change her mind?
Probably not
Regardless of the what-ifs, Beka deserved a proper answer, and as such Aeryn took a deep breath as her girlfriend apologised. " You haven't ruined everything, and I appreciate that this came as a surprise, but you deserve more than I gave you, so if anyone needs to apologise it's me".
Aeryn didn't stop, wanting to get this out while she had the strength to do so, and before it all got sucked out of the nearest airlock. " I never thought that I would ever make such a huge decision like that, and believe me, I spent a lot of sleepless nights agonising over what I should do. I know I should have said something because I could have done with some support, but I felt ashamed and didn't want to burden you when you had your own shit to deal with. Getting injured, having to go through further surgery to fix the damage, and that whole ******* debacle of a mission was a turning point for me. Yes, I know Science isn't as action-packed as Security, but I desperately needed a change, a new focus and I wouldn't just hand over my department to someone who's going to run it into the ground".
She'd given her recommendation for who her replacement should be, and Aeryn knew that Beka would run the department as smoothly as she had done. There had been no regrets, and she hoped that Beka would understand and support her. Aeryn also needed to tell her the rest, which she'd been keeping as a surprise.
" There's something else too, something I was keeping as a surprise. Chief of Science wasn't the only promotion that I got".
Just when she thought that she had it all figured out, and felt better because of it, everything now came running at her full force, especially the guilt she had experienced whilst weighing up her decision. She knew deep down that she was doing the right thing for her sanity, and for everyone's safety, but at the same time she didn't need that reminder. Maybe she deserved it, and if she could turn back time would that have made her change her mind?
Probably not
Regardless of the what-ifs, Beka deserved a proper answer, and as such Aeryn took a deep breath as her girlfriend apologised. " You haven't ruined everything, and I appreciate that this came as a surprise, but you deserve more than I gave you, so if anyone needs to apologise it's me".
Aeryn didn't stop, wanting to get this out while she had the strength to do so, and before it all got sucked out of the nearest airlock. " I never thought that I would ever make such a huge decision like that, and believe me, I spent a lot of sleepless nights agonising over what I should do. I know I should have said something because I could have done with some support, but I felt ashamed and didn't want to burden you when you had your own shit to deal with. Getting injured, having to go through further surgery to fix the damage, and that whole ******* debacle of a mission was a turning point for me. Yes, I know Science isn't as action-packed as Security, but I desperately needed a change, a new focus and I wouldn't just hand over my department to someone who's going to run it into the ground".
She'd given her recommendation for who her replacement should be, and Aeryn knew that Beka would run the department as smoothly as she had done. There had been no regrets, and she hoped that Beka would understand and support her. Aeryn also needed to tell her the rest, which she'd been keeping as a surprise.
" There's something else too, something I was keeping as a surprise. Chief of Science wasn't the only promotion that I got".