08-30-2024, 01:03 PM
Lucy felt hollow. Aeryn was right on a few of her points. Delta shift wasn’t the threat she thought it was. The opportunity to give up of social interactions and effectively disappear from the daily life of the crew felt like a win. Giving up on falling in love again hurt a little, but there were greater costs. While going home would be her failure she wouldn’t be around to upset anyone, including people like Aeryn.
Lucy couldn’t figure if there was something functionally wrong with her. From Aeryn’s perspective this was the second time the junior officer had done something that a sensible person wouldn’t have. Lucy was capable enough to know that she shouldn't have. The gap between the understanding and the action still needed work.
Off-duty was so very different from on-duty. Things you shouldn’t say in a meeting. It was functionally a new crew and nobody wanted a socially incompetent officer adding to everybody’s upset. Lucy was certainly no diplomat. She had part of an idea as to what a Science Officer was meant to be, but sometimes she couldn’t see the point in being or doing anything. It would have been better if she didn’t act as if she could do anything beneficial for those around her.
“No, Lieutenant Commander. Anything I might say to rationalise my behavior would only come off as an excuse for not meeting Starfleet standards or filtering myself appropriately.
“If I can fix myself, that would be progress. If I fail, hopefully your next junior officer will not be like me.”
Lucy was only a Lieutenant Junior Grade. She couldn’t figure how she’d made it this far and still been so immature. Aeryn was her first Department Head. Lucy had never been an adequate Science Officer. If she had been Zherru would still be alive.
Better to become a ghost. Can’t keep disappointing people.
== tag. ==
Lucy couldn’t figure if there was something functionally wrong with her. From Aeryn’s perspective this was the second time the junior officer had done something that a sensible person wouldn’t have. Lucy was capable enough to know that she shouldn't have. The gap between the understanding and the action still needed work.
Off-duty was so very different from on-duty. Things you shouldn’t say in a meeting. It was functionally a new crew and nobody wanted a socially incompetent officer adding to everybody’s upset. Lucy was certainly no diplomat. She had part of an idea as to what a Science Officer was meant to be, but sometimes she couldn’t see the point in being or doing anything. It would have been better if she didn’t act as if she could do anything beneficial for those around her.
“No, Lieutenant Commander. Anything I might say to rationalise my behavior would only come off as an excuse for not meeting Starfleet standards or filtering myself appropriately.
“If I can fix myself, that would be progress. If I fail, hopefully your next junior officer will not be like me.”
Lucy was only a Lieutenant Junior Grade. She couldn’t figure how she’d made it this far and still been so immature. Aeryn was her first Department Head. Lucy had never been an adequate Science Officer. If she had been Zherru would still be alive.
Better to become a ghost. Can’t keep disappointing people.
== tag. ==