09-09-2024, 04:19 PM
Mara’s head swung across to the door as the chime sounded.
“Come,” she called, idly wondering who was after her at this hour. When Tyra Crawford was framed in the doorway, the Security chief smiled wryly.
“Ah. That time. I was wonderin’ when retribution was gonna catch up to me, and whether it was gonna be you or Givens,” Calleja said with a good-natured grin, swinging her boots off the desk and gesturing to the visitor chairs. “You’re lookin’ much more like you today, I gotta say. Please, sit. Mi casa su casa and all that.” She could easily have passed for Hispanic, but the only Spanish she knew was the odd phrase she liked that she’d picked up from others.
“Look, I’ll save you the pain of havin’ to take me to task,” Mara said, fronting up to what she knew was coming. “I know I fucked up yesterday. Counsellor Kuik already kicked my arse hard about it. And I know I owe Givens an apology. When it sticks less in my throat, I’ll go find her and give it. It was friendly fire. I wasn’t even angry with her, she caught someone else’s grief that they had comin’.”
She sighed. She’d thought about what she was going to say when one of the Captains did come to speak to her, but this wasn’t a prepared speech. The Bandaran wore her heart on her sleeve.
“And I’m sorry to you as well,” Mara added. “You gave me this job, this chance, and in the very first briefin’, I go shootin’ from the lip and let you down. All I can say in my defence is, I’m not great at handlin’ change. Little stuff, sure. Work that shift instead of that one, cover this, run a drill, I can deal with that. But the big overarchin’ stuff, not so much. Took me a while to adjust to bein’ on Artemis. And it took me pretty much the whole leave period to adjust to bein’ COS. Then, bam, you were gone, and it threw me for a loop. And then you were back. It felt like… No, it still feels like, we’re bein’ played with. And I know I don’t have any right to be that angry about somethin’ that wasn’t even happenin’ to me. But that’s not how it works in my warped excuse of a brain. If someone is comin’ for a crewmate or a friend, they’re comin’ for me.”
Mara shook her head.
“There was a lot to deal with in that briefin’ and I didn’t deal with it well. Honestly, I don’t regret speakin’ out. What happened to you was shockin’ and it still bugs me a little that nobody else sat around that table felt strongly enough to stick their head up and say so. But there’s a middle ground between bein’ silent and gobbin’ off. I will find it. I will do better next time.”
Having said her piece, Calleja lapsed into silence and leant back in her chair. Most others probably would have let Crawford go first and taken the consequences. But that wasn’t her way. She wasn’t the type of person to sit meekly and await her fate, especially when she already knew why the CO was here.
I hope it makes things a little less awkward. I hate when people fumble around tryin’ to find a way to say things that won’t set me off. Much easier if I do it for them.
== Tags! ==
“Come,” she called, idly wondering who was after her at this hour. When Tyra Crawford was framed in the doorway, the Security chief smiled wryly.
“Ah. That time. I was wonderin’ when retribution was gonna catch up to me, and whether it was gonna be you or Givens,” Calleja said with a good-natured grin, swinging her boots off the desk and gesturing to the visitor chairs. “You’re lookin’ much more like you today, I gotta say. Please, sit. Mi casa su casa and all that.” She could easily have passed for Hispanic, but the only Spanish she knew was the odd phrase she liked that she’d picked up from others.
“Look, I’ll save you the pain of havin’ to take me to task,” Mara said, fronting up to what she knew was coming. “I know I fucked up yesterday. Counsellor Kuik already kicked my arse hard about it. And I know I owe Givens an apology. When it sticks less in my throat, I’ll go find her and give it. It was friendly fire. I wasn’t even angry with her, she caught someone else’s grief that they had comin’.”
She sighed. She’d thought about what she was going to say when one of the Captains did come to speak to her, but this wasn’t a prepared speech. The Bandaran wore her heart on her sleeve.
“And I’m sorry to you as well,” Mara added. “You gave me this job, this chance, and in the very first briefin’, I go shootin’ from the lip and let you down. All I can say in my defence is, I’m not great at handlin’ change. Little stuff, sure. Work that shift instead of that one, cover this, run a drill, I can deal with that. But the big overarchin’ stuff, not so much. Took me a while to adjust to bein’ on Artemis. And it took me pretty much the whole leave period to adjust to bein’ COS. Then, bam, you were gone, and it threw me for a loop. And then you were back. It felt like… No, it still feels like, we’re bein’ played with. And I know I don’t have any right to be that angry about somethin’ that wasn’t even happenin’ to me. But that’s not how it works in my warped excuse of a brain. If someone is comin’ for a crewmate or a friend, they’re comin’ for me.”
Mara shook her head.
“There was a lot to deal with in that briefin’ and I didn’t deal with it well. Honestly, I don’t regret speakin’ out. What happened to you was shockin’ and it still bugs me a little that nobody else sat around that table felt strongly enough to stick their head up and say so. But there’s a middle ground between bein’ silent and gobbin’ off. I will find it. I will do better next time.”
Having said her piece, Calleja lapsed into silence and leant back in her chair. Most others probably would have let Crawford go first and taken the consequences. But that wasn’t her way. She wasn’t the type of person to sit meekly and await her fate, especially when she already knew why the CO was here.
I hope it makes things a little less awkward. I hate when people fumble around tryin’ to find a way to say things that won’t set me off. Much easier if I do it for them.
== Tags! ==